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The Art of Eating Asparagus

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Slight sulfurous fumes rise into the air like clouds of toxic gas as you quickly tell yourself “Faster! C’mon, faster, faster, faster!” praying to the Lord Jesus Almighty that nobody is going to walk into the bathroom in the next 30 seconds.

 

You quickly zip up, scramble to wash your hands, and quickly dash out the door as fast as you can and suck in a breath of fresh air. You’re finally safe. 

 

Phew.

So am I the only person who thinks that asparagus is the most dangerous vegetable to eat when you live a very public life?! I kid you not, I plan my asparagus consumption around my schedule so I know I’m going to have many opportunities to either pee at home, or pee in a private/deserted place where nobody is going to judge me for unleashing the dreaded smell of asparagus pee into the vicinities of the bathroom.

The sacrifices I make for food… sigh

Anyways, this is SUCH a delayed post because these photos were taken a good two weeks ago. But hey, the school year had just started and my life was a hectic mess so forgive me! You know how sometimes you just have SO much on your plate that you go through like, constipation of the mind?!

I literally sat here the other day, just thinking about kittens for 30 minutes because that was the only thing that I could muster the strength up to think about. Kittens. Yeah.

Well my ridiculously fried brain aside, let me just apologize in advance for the ugly shape that the salmon is in, in these photos. My uncle decided to “asian filet” these wild caught Coho salmon we got. If you don’t know what “asian filet” means, it’s basically just mutilating the fish beyond the point of repair. But I wasn’t about to waste $60 worth of salmon filets right? Our friend had bought us 5 whole salmon and blah blah blah, you can imagine what happened.

Asparagus and salmon are two of my favourite foods on earth, so it’s only proper that I combine them together right? With a sprinkling of crunchy Marcona almonds to offset the slightly chewy, but still soft grilled asparagus, this dish is one of my faves to make. 

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Ingredients (serves 2):

- 2 pieces of salmon filets 

- 2 servings of asparagus

- salt & pepper

- oregano

- mustard

- bayleaves

- olive oil

- handful of Marcona almonds, crushed

Directions:

1. Marinade the salmon in a combination of 1:2 ratios of mustard to olive oil, with a few pinches of oregano, salt, & pepper. Top each piece with a bayleaf and let sit for a bit.

2. Trim your asparagus, and coat in olive oil and make sure everything is evenly coated.

3. In a 400F oven, put the salmon in to broil for about 10-15 minutes, depending on the thickness of the filets.

4. When you’re about 5-8 minutes from having cooked salmon, throw the asparagus onto a grill set on high and cook.

5. The two should finish at the same time, crush and put on some Marcona almonds (or whatever nuts) on top of the asparagus, place the salmon on top, and serve!

 

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